I caved…

I may or may not have mentioned on this blog (can’t remember, haven’t blogged in a while) that I do not plan on going on any diet but wanted to lose weight without restricting myself. Just eat better.

Well, that wasn’t working. I wasn’t losing weight. I still felt like crap. I started working out but my eating only got marginally better. I was adding more veggies but still eating “bad” things and eating too much.

I think I need the structure of a “diet” and a meal plan. I’m one of those girls that needs structure. One of my doctors recommended the site dietdoctor.com for low carb/keto diet information. She told me if would help with my high blood pressure and prediabetes. I checked it out, but soon forgot about it.

When the new year started, I thought about how I’m going to fulfill my resolution of losing weight and getting healthy. Fix my blood pressure and prediabetes. I went back to dietdoctor.com and found that they have a free 2-week Keto challenge. They give you 2 full weeks of recipes and a shopping list for each week. You can even adjust the number of people you’re shopping/cooking for and they will adjust the amounts of ingredients you need to buy/prepare. No math needed! Everything printed out easily and neatly.

I told my husband that I wanted to do the challenge. He said “Cool, I’m down!” YES! He wanted to join me! It would make it infinitely easier to have his support and to have him doing it alongside me. We shopped a few days later on Sunday (Jan. 6th) and started that night.

I felt slightly guilty because we live with my in-laws and we were taking up so much fridge space! But my in-laws are super supportive and ensure me that whatever we do in the kitchen is totally fine.

Our first keto meal was called “Keto Cauliflower Chicken Alfredo”. OMG was it good! It was also very nice to be cooking with my husband again. We haven’t been doing much cooking at home in the past year. [Guilty.] The meal filled us up and we were excited that the plan had us cook double the servings so that it would make a quick and easy lunch for the next day. This is how it is for everyday; dinner’s leftovers are next day’s lunch.

Anyway, today is the 4th full day on keto. I’m feeling pretty good despite having a persistent cough. In the first couple of days I felt tired and had a headache or two but that is what is expected as part of the “keto flu”. I snuck a look at the scale last night (never a good idea after a full day of eating and drinking litres of water). But to my delight, I was down 2 lbs give or take a few ounces! If that is my result at night while wearing a big sweater, I am excited to see what the results are on Monday, on an empty stomach, in my underwear!

Yesterday, I slipped a bit and snacked on too many roasted macadamia nuts between lunch and dinner. I don’t think I was actually hungry, just bored. Macadamia nuts is fully acceptable on keto, but the plan we’re following does not recommend snacking because the meals are already high enough in calories and fat that we shouldn’t get hungry. Also, I think snacking has a mental effect on me that causes me to want to snack more. I’m going to try my best to minimize my snacking to once a day and just a small, keto-friendly snack.

This plan is only for two weeks but I can see myself doing this long term. I’ve seen a lot of people on the internet with great results on keto who have been doing it for 2+ years to life. There are so many recipes out there, I just need to put in a little work to plan my week and draw up the shopping lists. I’m excited to see and feel change. I’m so ready for change!

I had more to say, but honestly I forgot because hubby just came home and I got distracted. This post is getting long anyway so if I remember what I was gonna say I’ll post again. Good day!


All day HUNGER!

Feeling EXTRA good today but struggling not to overeat.

I had a good 6 am workout this morning. Had a nice banana-avocado-spinach smoothie and scrambled eggs for breakfast. Handful of almonds, 2 clementines and a small thing of cottage cheese for morning snack. Chicken breast and salad for lunch. Some tortilla chips for afternoon snack.

All very good and balanced. Except for the fact that I feel like I’ve been hungry all day. Before, during and after each meal, all I wanted was more food! I think my body is trying to get used to less.

Having dinner with my parents tonight. I am committed to finish the day off right with a healthy dinner and replace evening snacking with some karaoke! Lol.



Day Whatever

Okay so I’m giving up on counting the days. It just doesn’t makes sense for me right now.


It is Saturday morning and I’m a mix of emotions that I’m not sure I want to get into today.

The day started well. Hubby and I woke up at 6:30am to hit the gym right when it opens at 7am on Saturdays. Then we had a quick breakfast before I had a doctor appointment.

Long story short, I’m working with a few doctors to get my health under control. I had a follow up with one of them this morning and it was a little tough. A lot of what he said is stuff I already knew, but having someone lay it all out there for you the way he did… it was rough. Thank you Hubby for being my my side and holding my hand when I cried on the car ride home.

Most of my issues can be helped by losing weight. This is what I’m working my hardest to do now. I am doing it to save my life now. It just hurts so much that I let it get to this point. I’m trying not to regret. I’m trying not to dwell on the fact that if I had stuck to my weight loss journey 2 years ago, I wouldn’t be in this situation right now. So I’m not going to. I acknowledge it, but I also acknowledge that dwelling on it does not help me in any way now. I have to look forward and do my best right now. Put my energy into getting better, being better now.

So it was a tough appointment. But I’m doing something about it. I’m on my way.


Positive vibes

Day 2: The Night Eater

Day 2 almost done! I had another 6am gym sesh this morning and I love it! I love getting my workout in early and not having to think about it the rest of the day. I feel like when I plan on a later gym time, I spend more time thinking about it, maybe dreading it and making excuses for skipping.

Hubby came with me this morning and we met with my brother’s GF. Usually, my sister will be there too but she slept in. It’s awesome having people to go with, even so early in the morning! It makes it harder for me to make excuses to skip when I know others are going. And it’s more fun working out with friends, obviously.

Oh, did I mention that our main motivation for our morning workouts is that we’re all going to Hawaii in April? Yeah.

So after the gym this morning, hubby and I had a nice breakfast of broccoli, chicken and cream cheese omelettes. It was pretty much a use whatever we could find in the fridge meal.

At lunchtime, we picked up my mother in law from work and had to go straight to Costco to shop for our holiday party this weekend. This means lunch at Costco (dun, dun dun!). Thanks to my morning workout, I was okay with having one Polish sausage and a little diet Pepsi. I am using MyFitnessPal to track calories for now, just to get an idea of what and how much I should be eating. I’m not following any sort of diet or regimen. I’m going for lifelong and sustainable changes. No restrictions. Just eat normal, human-sized portions that are mostly healthy and make some better choices.

Costco during the holidays is a maze of sweet, chocolatey temptations. I reeeeally wanted a box of chocolate peppermint bark. Hubby ended up getting a large box of our favorite Christmas time chocolates: Ferraro Rocher. Ugh! I am determined to limit myself to 3 chocolates a day, which might be normal for a regular person, but for me requires some discipline.

For dinner, my mother in law had bought a pizza from Costco and since I am trying to make better choices, I grilled up some pork chops, threw some frozen fajita veggie mix into the microwave and topped it with a fried egg. This is what hubby and I had for dinner instead of the pizza. Yay! Good choices! I could have had the pizza, but probably only one slice and since I’d already indulged in a Costco sausage and 3 Ferarro Rocher chocolates today, I knew I had to avoid the pizza.

The problem comes at night, when I my favorite thing to do is snack and watch movies/shows/YouTube videos. Hubby and I went out after dinner and when we came back, hubby got some leftover pizza. TEMPTAAAAATION! Probably the first in this journey, but I think I’m going to make it! Thankfully, I have this blog to keep me busy. Soon it’ll be bedtime and then I can say Day 2 was a success!

Okay, thanks for distracting me, blog. Sorry for being so long winded.


Day 1 (for real)

I don’t know if counting the days is even a good idea, but I do remember feeling good once the days went past 100 and I was doing so well.

Let’s try again.

Isn’t that the whole theme of my weight loss journey? I lose weight, gain it back and more and try again. Last time I said would be the last time. And yes, I’m saying it again. I’m going to lose weight, get healthy and stay that way. I’ve been trying to ‘restart’ for months now and it never stuck but I know it’s different now because today, I feel good!

All those other times, I felt nothing but shame and hopelessness. Shame at how bad I let myself get. Feeling hopeless about how much farther I have to go to get to my goal.

Today, I feel excited  to get going and positive about changing my life. So this is Day 1, for real.

I woke up this morning and git the gym at 6am. I can only manage walking on the treadmill right now, but I walked for 45 minutes and did some light weights for 15-20 minutes.

Back at home, I made myself some eggs and broccoli and had some avocado on the side. I’m almost done with my fist litre of water too. Good start, I’d say. Lets keep it up for the rest of the day!


Day 1 & 2: Baby steps

Day 1 was a bust.

There is still a lot of Halloween candy around the house, which I know is a lame excuse for stuffing my face with chocolate. If I could point out the silver lining, it would be that I did meal prep for the day, and I did eat those meals. If it weren’t for the candy, I would have had a pretty good day.

Gym did not happen on Day 1. It didn’t happen this morning (Day 2) either. I won’t be too disappointed about this if I can get through the week eating well. I’m not trying to tackle EVERYTHING at once.

Hubby made breakfast this morning. A nice omelette with green peppers, cheese and chicken. He put his omelette in a whole wheat wrap and it looked so good, so I had half of his and he had to make himself another, lol. It was quite a big breakfast and I worried that eating half of hubby’s wrap was too much but I entered it all in MFP and it was all under 600 calories 🙂

I planned the rest of my meals in MFP:

  • Breakfast: Omelette w/ green peppers, cheese and chicken breast. Half another omelette in half a whole wheat wrap.
  • Lunch: Grilled chicken breast, steamed broccoli.
  • Snack: Cucumber slices, raw almonds.
  • Dinner: TBD

I am doing a Paint Nite with my mom, sister and my brother’s girlfriend tonight. Not sure what’s going to happen for dinner, but hoping for something light and healthy!

Putting the Dark Days Behind Me…

My last post was in June 2016.

A lot has happened in the 2 years since I last blogged here. First, I let myself go. When I say this, I mean I REALLY let go. Although I’ve never actually reached it, there were times when I was just a burger and fries away from weighing 300 lbs.

300 POUNDS!!!

I never thought I could possibly let myself go there. But there it is. I’ve admitted it and put it out there. In the past two years I’ve gained more than 50 lbs without thinking. I started feeling depressed. Then I started falling asleep at work and realized this fatigue is not from lack of sleep, but because of how unhealthy I’ve become. My husband and I started trying to conceive our first child and although I KNOW the best solution is to lose weight, get healthy, I’ve been doing the opposite. I am immensely ashamed and scared and sad. I am also totally ready to put it all behind me.

So here I am, back at Week #1 again:

Starting weight: 291.8 lbs